So... about a week... and a half to two weeks ago ish until now:
Me and my gf broke up at the beginning of this. now were done, for good?
Ive started to try and be nicer to people.
Ive lost all of my bestfriends except for 2, whom, oddly enough are ex gfs of mine 0_o
On the normal friends side, i dont know really anyone who i used to talk to at school. time seems to have left me behind.
saw that one coming <_<
um, ive decided that Rum is NOT my alchohol unless ive eaten that day.
I went to a party to try and take my mind offof Abby and this is how it went :
I Hung out with a guy named Ricky, (hes pretty damn kool i must say though with everything iv been through with people i cant trust him :(. )
I didnt eat that day for whatever reason, went to a football game, me and ricky decided since i was single we should throw a party. we nabbed a few people from the game, went back to rickys house, I bought 3 liters of captain morgan rum, the flavors were, Mango, Passion fruit, and regular.
I dont know what came over me when we started drinking, but i knew it was right, i wanted to drown myself in alcohol and not have to think about the past month and a half. I wanted to be free of the pain.
after people took a few shots we went into the living room and started talking there was music going we were all having a good time. I wanted more, i could still think. i still seriously remember taking a couple of more shots (mind you these are all doubles)
well, then things get fuzzy so ill finish up what i remember then what i heard happened when i woke up in the morning. I remember going around being so freaking happy it wasnt even funny, i high fived everyone, i was just making the party liven up a bit. well. thats all. Ricky said that i drank some more, could hardly walk yet was still really happy and then started to strip for people lol. embarassing, yes. a girl at the party (whom i called to find out what happened) said i drank a liter and a half by myself. then, had some vodka.
when i woke up that morning in my own bed, still drunk, (which scared me since before i fell asleep i was on the north side in brown town) i noticed i had puked a little bit, and found out later that someone had called my dad to come pick me up. but better he picked me up than me drive myself. My throught,was soo torn up. i had a massive ass hang over and ended up falling asleep in the stock room at work for 3 hours.
the moral:dont trust people, it makes you vulnerable. and no, im not blaming other people, it was my fault i trusted people in the first place.
_______________________________________
so anyway, iv FINALLY decided what tatoos i would like. when i turn 18, im getting the word "Kreig" written along the bottom of my ribcage in the front. On my left peck, im getting a cross. across my shoulder blades im getting "only God may judge me" written in german in an old english text. in the niddle of my back im getting an irish flag buted up next to a mexican flag, my dads name written on the irish one and my moms written in the mexican one. im not sure but i think im going to get the Rammstein emblem on my arm.
so... im going to go.
"sechs ist einen schlacht, leibe ist kreig."
_______________________
I'll write my story in permanent ink so the world can see but never understand. The key though, shall be written here. For everyone to see but no one to care. My heart put up now for no one can touch it, yet everyone breaks it. I stand here, on my own two feet, desolate. I stare back at you with not even anger anymore. I tried for perfection, but yet, because i could not stop for death he kindly stopped for me. the first courtasy i have endured in quite sometime.
hau rein
-Fuehrer | 
Oh wow sorry well here is the one I use on my Pic xanga and I know it works.
.. language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
// This script and others available free at http://www.lissaexplains.com
if (window.Event)
document.captureEvents(Event.MOUSEUP);
function nocontextmenu() {
event.cancelBubble = true, event.returnValue = false;
return false;
}
function norightclick(e) {
if (window.Event) {
if (e.which == 2 || e.which == 3) return false;
}
else if (event.button == 2 || event.button == 3) {
event.cancelBubble = true, event.returnValue = false;
return false;
}
}
if (document.layers)
document.captureEvents(Event.MOUSEDOWN);
document.. nocontextmenu;
document.. norightclick;
document.. norightclick;
//-->..>